Whoo, been a while, once again. Still keeping up with my weekly updates on DA–I’m so shocked–drawing things sort of on most days, have not caught back up though since the end of the semester. And. . . . I don’t seem to be writing any fiction. Still doing essays, still working on the single transferable vote. Wrote a column for the back of the local Green party brochure, and I’ve re-written the old brochure I made a few months ago. Right now I am working on graphics for it. I’m also doing well, basically, in my Koine Greek class, though I haven’t worked on my paper, which is regrettably due next bloody week. Argh. But then after that the semester is about over anyway (summer classes).
Gawd, I’m supposed to graduate in the fall. I’ve decided to give teaching a chance. I want to have a career in something creative, but I don’t know, there’s something in my brain that’s not clicking. Maybe I can eventually draw comics. I had two characters playing around in my head last summer, with no real plots or stories about them, they were just there, and I could kinda see them, but there wasn’t really anything to write. But some okay comics pages could have resulted if I had the skill with a pencil. So I’m hoping to develop that. And also to put some of the things in my head down on paper too. Well. I have been doing some fiction work, sort of, though not really.
I call her Haemonia, a poetic name for Thessaly. In Apuleius, Thessaly is associated with witchcraft, and when I saw her eyes, I immediately thought of a line in the Argonatica about Circe–how she had the far-striking eyes of the children of Helios. I thought, yes, this is a sibling of these characters. So I’ve been filling out a 101 question sheet about her, lol.
Plus I’ve got some revisions in my head for a flash fiction I wrote a few semesters ago. Was thinking of translating it into Greek, but I keep getting distracted lol. I suspect I might need to take a holiday from my meds, if they’re not to lose their effectiveness. And maybe gain back the three pounds I lost when I first started–for the first time at my appointment today, I appear to have lost no weight since the last visit. So I appear to be eating better.
And I’ve been engaging in numerous failed attempts to sell t-shirts. Both with political slogans and with my photographs on them. There appears to be no interest. But maybe if I build up a decent sized audience that will change? Who bloody knows.
The world is ending. If there is nothing I can do to stop it, I can at least try. Went to the smokeys a couple weeks ago and took some pictures. It had been a while since the last time I went to the park–a really long time, actually–and everything was just so beautiful. I remember the articles in the paper about the trees that are dying. I just want to stick my paws in the dirt listen to the stream running beside me lie down under the branches. I wonder how soon it will all be gone.
My story reflects on this feeling of hopelessness, actually. Which might be enough, even if I can craft it into a real decent tale, to prevent it from ever being published professionally. A lot of journals explicitly state they don’t want stories with downer endings or stories where humans are the villains lol maybe I’ll sit on it forever just continually revising, or maybe I’ll get done with it one day and if I can’t be arsed to find a journal interested in that type of story (or maybe it is of still insufficient quality, maybe I’ll never be that great, and I should just write what I enjoy and post it where I like) then I’ll put it on my DA. It’s so weird. All of my decisions lately seem to feel like a form of giving up. Maybe things will get better.