Yup. Another long hiatus. Hiātus, by the way, is a fourth declension noun: nominative singular regularly ends with -us just like the first declension, but instead of nominative plural in –ī they end with –ūs. That is, they lengthen the vowel u, instead of replacing it with a whole different ending. It can mean opening, open mouth, greedy desire for (something), or chasm.
That’s my life on the internet. A long series of chasms dispersed across different websites and different communities.
Why do these kinds of things always make me want to give my life story? And why do I resist that impulse so strenuously? I guess I want to tell that story, but I don’t know who I want to hear it.
Speaking of stories, I have now written two (sort of). One of them is just flash fiction. The other is sort of a short story, but it has a cliff-hanger ending. It’s also more complicated and really not finished. That is, I feel like I could make it better than it is, should I ever get any feedback on it. I took a class, you see, and the first thing I wrote was really not much of a story at all, but it contained a synopsis of another story (don’t ask me why) and that’s what I got feedback on. So I took those three or four pages of synopsis and expanded them into seventeen pages (double-spaced) of crappy story. Which I suppose is better than “OMG wtf is this there’s no plot and no dialogue” but now that I’ve added those things I need to someone to tell me just how good or bad of a job I did. I’ve already sent it to two people, and a third has offered. Actually, it strikes me now there’s really two synopses in the original draft, but I can’t figure out what the climax or conclusion of the second one could be, because it’s more inter-personal. Whereas I am a complete robot.
Well, I plan to keep at it, because I do kind of enjoy thinking up stories even though when I open a new document my chest clenches up and I just sort of freeze. Well, maybe I’ll get over that.
I might even get back into blogging, I don’t know. I’ve been doing a lot of things. I kind of gave up on the local chapter of the Green Party–actually, as an alcoholic, the fact that they insist on meeting in a bar became a bigger and bigger problem for me. I’ve had too many damn dreams of starting drinking again or going back to smoking pot for me to want to be within twenty feet of a beverage. I also had a few too many people offer to buy me a drink, which is just as bad because I don’t have to just not drink any more, but now I’ve got to stay sober politely. It’s a lot harder than it sounds. I don’t know if there’s a way to explain the incredible awkwardness of being offered something that you’re addicted to. “Sure, you’re a nice person, but I could end up dead or in jail or worse if I say ‘yes’.” But there’s a local chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America getting started. They seem to be growing. I’ve been to two meetings now, and at the last one there was even a person there who was clearly younger than me, yet still an adult. Eventually, I guess, that experience is going to be weird, but I’m not even thirty yet and a lot of the time outside of school the people I’m around are already completely grey. So big things are opening up. Maybe.
I’m also now officially a furry. That’s fun. I spent so much time on this new site, Furgather, that I basically ignored AFN (AFF’s replacement) as well as dA. I also sort of burned out on taking pictures and submitting them to groups and getting no positive reception late last year as well as on conflict between angry autistics, but now I’m getting back into it again. As I said, my life is ruled by hiatus.
I also know for sure that I want to major in Latin, or at least Classical Studies, but the fellow in charge of switching my major (because obviously I shouldn’t be able to do it myself) has ignored my email. I wonder if there is any point in sending him another one. Perhaps if I load my transcript down with enough classics course then he’ll take me seriously.
And I remain completely incompetent at picking stuff up.