I have to talk now. I had a dream. I was in school, taking classes. Two classes, actually. In the morning. First class proceeded without memorable incident, then my second class. I think it was an art class. There was one other student, female, very pretty. I wanted to talk to her, say hi, something, but I couldn’t possibly do that. Somewhere along the way I realised I was only wearing one shoe. Clearly I had to go and find the other one, and I walked around unevenly, searching for it, while wearing one shoe. I knew it was in my other class; had to have been. But there were these old teachers in there, and I couldn’t go in and really search for it. I asked, got sort of an answer. No, it’s not in here. I was also using my phone to sort of analyse the things I was looking at, not because it would help me find my shoe, but because I was interested. I’m still walking around, one leg extra bent, then I wander back into the second classroom, and I find my other shoe, and now I can see which pair of shoes it is, it’s a pair of really old, beaten up new balance running shoes that I threw away a few years ago. Except there’s another shoe, a smaller one, and it’s the same brand and model, and it’s in the same condition. Somehow there’s a joke about a party, and the shoes having a baby, only it falls flat and the topic is making me uncomfortable anyway, so I change it. There’s a thing…some kind of event. Professor wants us to go. For art. I don’t want to, because what if ykw is there. (yeah, because he’s such an artsy person) But I let myself get talked into it, and we all raise our fists in the air and say “whoo, art!” and professor turns and it’s his face. Then I wake up.
I suppose that after seeing that fat shit’s face on everyone even slightly tubby who passes me by, I shouldn’t be surprised. I don’t want to be suspicious of everyone I meet who seems even slightly interested. And I want to sleep peacefully for eight hours at a time, especially when I don’t actually have to be up in the morning. I am so tired. Why can’t I go to bed at two in the morning like I always do? Sleep until ten. That’s fucking normal. Maybe not so much during what’s technically the school semester, but I’m not enrolled anywhere right now. Fuck.